The Wizard of Oz
by FireyDreamWaters1
Summary: Dorothy (Duo) is whisked from her home in Kansas with Toto (Heero) for much misadventure courtesy of my warped little mind.
1. Prologue

The Wizard of Oz  
  
(limited parody addition created in cooperation with Coley and Kynthia) by Cricket  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own. This was created purely for my own entertainment and most likely not for anyone else's. I'm not making any money off of this so don't sue me. I work two jobs and don't have any money okay?!?!?!?!  
  
Summary: Swooped from her Kansas farm by a terrible twister, young Dorothy and her dog Toto find themselves in a fantastic world of witches and wizards. Befriended by the inhabitants of Little People Land (formerly Munchkinland), Dorothy learns her only hope of returning home to Kansas is to follow the yellow brick road to the Emerald City, home of the magnificent and all-powerful Wizard of Oz. Joined in her enchanted quest by a Scarecrow in search of a brain, a Tin Man in search of a heart and a cowardly Lion in need of courage, Dorothy leads the merry band dancing and singing (yes you read that right) toward their dreams.  
  
Characters (so you don't get too confused) Dorothy - Duo  
  
Toto - Heero  
  
Auntie Em - Relena  
  
Uncle Henry - Catherine  
  
Hunk Andrews/ The Scarecrow - Wufei (I find it amusing)  
  
Hickory Twicker/ The Tin Man - Quatre (The Zero Version)  
  
Zeke/ The Lion - Trowa (he likes lions!)  
  
Professor Marvel/ The Wizard (and other aliases) - Howard  
  
Gatekeeper in the Emerald City - Dorothy  
  
Miss Gulch/ Wicked Witch of the West - Lady Une  
  
Wicked Witch of the East - Noin  
  
Glinda the Good Witch of the North - Sally  
  
Brenda the Good Witch of the South (TM) - Mariemaia  
  
Captain of the Winged Monkeys - Treize  
  
The Winged Monkeys - the random people in GW scenes (they needed a "real" part)  
  
Mayor of the Little People (AKA Munchkin Land) - Zechs (AKA Wind)  
  
The Little People - the various orphans of L2  
  
The Haunted Tree - Hilde  
  
Munchkin #1 - Oden Lowe  
  
Munchkin #2 - Dr. G  
  
Barrister - Middi Une  
  
Father #1- Master O  
  
Father #2- Dr. H  
  
Coroner - Dr. S  
  
Leader of the Winkies - Dr. J  
  
Winkies - Quatre's sisters 


	2. Our story begins

Chapter One: Our scene opens to a black and white rather dreary landscape that's supposed to be Kansas. We see Duo-err Dorothy walking down a dusty road with her dog Toto. She's wearing a checked dress and her hair in pigtails.  
  
Duo/Dorothy: HEY! NO pigtails!  
  
Ahem. she's wearing a three foot long braid.  
  
Dorothy races home to tell her Auntie Em the story of Toto and Miss Gulch.  
  
Dorothy: She isn't coming yet Toto. Did she hurt you? She tried to didn't she? Come on.  
  
Toto: Hn.  
  
Dorothy: Aunt Em! Aunt Em!  
  
Aunt Em is counting eggs and not paying any attention to Dorothy.  
  
Dorothy: Just listen to what Miss Gulch did to Toto. She-  
  
Aunt Em: Dorothy please! We're trying to count!  
  
Dorothy: Oh but Aunt Em she hit him-  
  
Uncle Henry: Don't bother us now, honey. You see, this old incubator's gone bad and we're likely to lose a lot of our chicks.  
  
Dorothy: Oh - oh, the poor little things. Oh, but Aunt Em, Miss Gulch hit Toto right over the back with a rake just because she says he gets in her garden and chases her nasty old cat every day!  
  
Aunt Em: Seventy - Dorothy, please!  
  
Dorothy:Oh, but he doesn't do it every day - just once or twice a week. And he can't catch her old cat, anyway! And now she says he's going to get the -  
  
Aunt Em: Dorothy! We're busy!  
  
Dorothy: Oh - all right.  
  
There are three men attempting to fix a wagon and Dorothy walks over  
to talk to them.  
  
Zeke: How's she coming?  
  
Hunk: Take it easy  
  
Zeke smashes Hunk's finger between the wagon wheel  
  
Hunk: Ow! You got my finger!  
  
Zeke: Why don't you get your finger out of the way!  
  
Hickory: There you are.  
  
Hunk: Right on my finger!  
  
Zeke: It's a lucky thing it wasn't your head.  
  
Dorothy: Zeke, what am I going to do about Miss Gulch? Just because  
Toto chases her old cat -  
  
Zeke: Listen honey, I got them hogs to get in.  
  
Hunk: Now lookit, Dorothy, you ain't using your head about Miss Gulch.  
You'd think you didn't have any brains at all.  
  
Dorothy: I have so got brains!  
  
Hunk: Well, why don't you use them? When you come home, don't go by  
Miss Gulch's place - then Toto won't get in her garden and you won't  
get in no trouble. See?  
  
Dorothy: Oh, Hunk, you just won't listen, that's all.  
  
Hunk: Well, your head ain't made of straw, you know.  
  
Zeke is now working on the pigpen as Dorothy walks the edge of the  
fence.  
  
Zeke: Soo-ee! Get in there before I make a dime bank out of you!  
Listen Kid, are you going to let that Old Gulch heifer try and  
buffalo you? She ain't nothing to be afraid of. Have a little courage,  
that's all.  
  
Dorothy: I'm not afraid of her.  
  
Zeke: Then the next time she squawks, walk right up to her and spit in  
her eye. That's what I'd do.  
  
Dorothy proceeds to fall off of the fence and land in the pigpen.  
  
Dorothy: Oh! Oh! Oh, Zeke! Zeke! Zeke, get me out of here! Help! Oh!  
  
Hickory: Are you all right, Dorothy?  
  
Dorothy: Yes, I'm all right. Oh. I fell in and and Zeke - Why, Zeke,  
you - you're just as scared as I am!  
  
Hunk: What's the matter, gonna let a little old pig make a coward out  
of you?  
  
Hickory: Look at you, Zeke - you're just as white -  
  
Aunt Em: Here, here, what's all this jabber-wapping when there's work  
to be done?  
  
I know three shiftless farm hands that'll be out of a job before they  
know it!  
  
Hickory: Well, Dorothy was walking along the -  
  
Aunt Em: I saw you tinkering with that contraption, Hickory. Now, you  
and Hunk get back to that wagon!  
  
Hickory: All right, Mrs. Gale. But some day they're going to erect a  
statue to me in this town, and -  
  
Aunt Em: Well, don't start posing for it now. Here, here - can't work  
on an empty stomach. Have some crullers.  
  
Hunk: Gosh, Mrs. Gale.  
  
Aunt Em: Just fried.  
  
Hickory: Thanks.  
  
Hunk: Swell.  
  
Zeke: You see, Dorothy topped into the - the -  
  
Aunt Em: It's no place for Dorothy about a pig sty! Now you go feed  
those hogs before  
  
they worry themselves into anaemia!  
  
Zeke: Yes, Ma'am.  
  
Dorothy: Aunti Em, really - do you know what Miss Gulch said she was  
going to do to Toto? She said she was going to -  
  
Aunt Em: Now, Dorothy, dear, stop imagining things. You always get  
yourself into a fret over nothing.  
  
Dorothy: Well -  
  
Aunt Em: Now, you just help us out today and find yourself a place  
where you won't get into any trouble.  
  
Dorothy: Some place where there isn't any trouble. Do you suppose  
there is such a place, Toto? There must be. Not a place you can get to  
by a boat or a train. It's far, far away - behind the moon - beyond  
the rain -  
  
Toto: Hn.  
  
Dorothy breaks into song:  
  
Duo/Dorothy: Oh no! This isn't what I signed up for! No song singing  
for me. Uh-uh, no way.  
OK fine! *the author puts in an old tape and presses play. Judy  
Garland's voice begins playing* BUT you're going to sing the next  
one!  
  
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.  
There's a land that I heard of  
Once in a lullaby.  
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.  
And the dreams that you dare to dream  
Really do come true.  
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far  
Behind me.  
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.  
That's where you'll find me.  
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the  
rainbow,  
Why then - oh, why can't I?  
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,  
Why, oh, why can't I?  
  
End Chapter 1  
  
Author Notes: Just so you know, I've decided to poke every pet peeve I  
have about fanfiction into this one little story. So if you see  
something repetitively that annoys you it's probably because it annoys  
me in other fics. Feedback is appreciated. 


End file.
